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Journal

Things on my mind. 

Amelie is becoming such a sweet and loving sister and caretaker to Estelle.  She endearingly calls her "sweetie pie" and "Lele" (a nickname we came up with from Soleil-le) which I love to hear.  She feeds her, burps her, responds to her cries, carries her around, and plays games to appease her.  She is the best big sister.  Estelle is so lucky to have her.  Sawyer also has become quite entertained by his little sis.  He entertains himself by making her giggle and jump wildly in her exersaucer by saying "ah-tchoo! ah-tchoo!" (his form of peek-a-boo).  He is thrilled by his achievements in making her laugh and it only eggs him on to do it more.  As for Chase, the other morning I woke up to hearing Estelle whimpering to get out of her crib.  I pulled myself out of bed, dragged my feet down the hall, only to find her crib empty.  Puzzled, I started down the stairs and quickly saw her snug in her swing, rocking from side to side.  Little Chase turned his head toward me and greeted me with a "good morning mom".  He said he got Estelle out of her crib when he heard her cry and brought her downstairs so I could keep sleeping.  How sweet is that?  Yes, Estelle has 3 fine siblings, which makes 4 wonderful children for me.  Seeing my kids interact lovingly with one another and form relationships is a pure joy.

Today I rediscovered that I really love music.  Good, uplifting, tasteful music just brings happiness to my soul and good desires.  For Christmas I got the Les Miserables 10th Anniversary DVD and I just love putting it on and listening to the talented voices sing gorgeous songs with such feeling.  It gives me goosebumps and makes me happy.  I think in another life I was born to sing on stage.  Too bad my stage fright took over in this life.

School starts again tomorrow.  I'm surprised how excited I am for it to start again.  When it let out for Christmas I really enjoyed the unstructured days and the sleeping in.  But 2 weeks of that and I'm really ready for structure and routine again.  I didn't realize how much I need it in my life.  It just makes things run more smoothly, and gives me motivation to get things done.  I have felt so lazy and unmotivated lately.  I feel like the day passes and I haven't done hardly anything.  I go to bed and think "What do I have to show for myself today?"  Yes, I'm glad school is back in.

I hope Estelle sleeps well tonight so I can get up in 7 hours and actually sleep 7 hours, cuz three 2 1/2 hour shifts aren't good for my complexion....ok I mean temper.  Good night.

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